Perfect Realm
by sofknowseverything
Summary: Dean gets nabbed by a Djinn and ends up in his perfect world, he's living with Cas, they have a little girl, Sammy is living with them and Kevin is still alive. But when Sam kills the Djinn and Dean is brought back, he has a hard time coping. How can he live if he left his perfect life behind?


**A/N:** Hey guys! I wrote this because _**hisfallencastiel**_ on tumblr prompted it to me! I hope you like it!

Also, thanks to my awesome Beta **ill-interrogate-the-cat**, please go check her stories!

_If you're waiting for the next chapter of F.I.G. you won't have to wait much longer! I'm gonna go back to it today! ^w^_

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"Dean, honey… Come here." A voice called.

Dean blinked, trying to adapt to the sunlight coming out of the window by his left. He was half-sitting, half-lying in the couch, and his body jerked awake as soon as he recalled where he was before he fell asleep.

A blue-faced person was the last thing he remembered. His mind knew exactly what was going on; after all this wasn't his first time fronting a Djinn and losing. Dean knew he wasn't in his world, but in his perfect world. Some part of him wanted to simply find a way out, he still remembered how much it hurt to leave his mother… He wasn't sure he would make it this time.

"Dean!" A whine was heard. "Are you coming or what?"

Was that…? Cas?

His mind was spinning with thoughts. Dean thought his perfect world was going to be same every time a Djinn won; but he didn't recall a male besides his brother last time. Sure, he didn't know Cas back then, but still… He wasn't sure why it wasn't like last time.

"Dean!" Cas called him once more.

Dean finally replied.

"Where are you Cas?"

"In the bedroom, come here…" Was it just Dean or was there a thread of arousal in Cas' voice? Dean shrugged it off, he must still be sleepy.

He got up from the couch and started walking in the direction of Cas' voice.

"Coming."

"Oh, you will…" Cas laughed.

Dean's head tilted, was Castiel making a sex joke? What was going on?

As soon as he walked inside of the room, he knew it. Castiel was lying stark-naked on the bed; that could only mean one thing… Dean likes Cas.

The first thing he could do was gaze at Cas' hardness. It wasn't like he wanted to stare -not that he didn't want to-, but he just couldn't stop himself. Cas was half hard, a smirk in his lips and one hand in his hip. Dean's reaction was to stay still and keep observing Cas' slow movement; his free hand was stroking his cock, while eyeing Dean. That left Dean semi-hard all at once. Yep, he definitely liked Cas.

"So, are you gunna join me or you want to keep staring the whole time?" Cas asked, his hand starting to move faster, but not fast enough to leave him fully hard.

Dean didn't have time to say anything, his feet decided and as soon as he noticed, he was starting to get undressed, one leg on the bed while the other stayed on the floor.

"Good choice." Cas chuckled. "But you better hurry up, or I'll end all the fun."

That made Dean start moving faster, his hands were all over himself trying to take his own clothes off as fast as he could manage.

"Now that's more like it." Cas smiled. "Good boy." He praised, making Dean groan from both the sight in front of him and the compliment.

As soon as Dean stood unclothed in front of Castiel, a hand pushed him down, so that he could lie on the bed next to Cas.

It wasn't much of a surprise to Dean that he liked Castiel. After all, he knew all along that guys could turn him on. Of course he knew, after that first time in the locker room watching one of the guys take a quick shower made him very aware of the risks of public showers. After that, Dean knew he was attracted to some guys; when his dad went off on a hunt, he would find himself going to a guy's house and so he started to understand just how much he liked guys. But he knew he couldn't keep it happening all the time, he had a status to keep! Dean started dating every girl he saw, trying his best to destroy his wishes and needs. The reason he started doing that was because his father once stated that homosexuals were scum; that left Dean terrified of what would happen if he ever revealed how much he loved watching guys engage in sexual acts.

As time passed, Dean started to forget that he also liked guys and only paid attention to the ladies… Of course that changed when Cas came into his life. Dean felt attracted to him as soon as they met and for all that was sacred, he couldn't find a way to forget Cas. He tried with Cas' sister, Lisa, and almost every girl that threw herself to him, but nothing worked. At the end of the night, he would still have a hard-on when he saw Cas.

The thing that surprised him was that Castiel was his dream. While on his last time living his fantasy life, Dean was with a girl he didn't even know, and now… Now he was with Cas; his best friend, his angel. Dean never thought that what he felt toward guys could ever lead to him thinking of a guy and himself as his perfect dream life… But Cas wasn't just a guy… Cas was Cas' His best friend, his angel.

Dean felt himself come back to the moment as he felt Cas' mouth in his neck. Despite everything, it had been a long time ever since he last slept with a guy. He only did it once, before things with John made Dean fear his father. He knew himself enough to know that he liked to be the bottom, he liked to be jostled against a wall and be fucked just like that, but with a girl that was unmanageable, girls just wanted him to be a damn guy and be the one fucking them.

As it turned out, Cas knew Dean well enough. He crawled into Dean's lap and one of his hands grabbed Dean's dick, placing it near his own and started stroking both of them at the same time. Dean gasped, letting Cas take control and simply stand back and enjoy the ride.

As things started moving faster, Dean started to shiver. Not only was Cas on top of him, but he was also pecking him all over his face and giving him so much pleasure that he wasn't sure how to cope.

Dean was so fixated on Castiel's lips on his and hand in both their shafts that he only noticed Castiel grabbing a bottle of lube when he heard it click open. He decided to let things roll, he hadn't been with a guy in so long, and this was Cas, he simply couldn't make himself stop.

The first thing that actually shocked him was that Cas wasn't getting himself ready for Dean's cock, but that it was the other way around. He let out a stunned yelp when he felt Cas' fingers coated in lube circling the ring of nerves in his ass.

"I can't believe you still get surprised when I do that." The angel said as he pulled his lips away from Dean's. "Just like that first time… When I bent you over and fucked you against the mattress."

Dean moaned loudly as his body jerked towards Castiel. The way Castiel was talking left him breathless and the only thing he could do was try to make him keep speaking. Dean gave his best to let out the most desperate sounds he could make and that made his lover chuckle.

"Oh Dean… Sometimes I forget how much you enjoy when I talk dirty." Cas kissed Dean's earlobe and licked all around it. "But then those sounds you make remind me. Tonight I want you to see what I see. I want you to watch my cock coming in and out of your body. This time, you can face me."

Dean shivered with eagerness as Cas finally pressed one finger inside his hole.

"Caas-" Dean breathed out.

Slowly, Castiel started motioning that one finger back and forth. When Dean started moving his ass to fasten Cas' pace, he added a second finger. As much as he wanted to punish Dean for moving while he was in control, a guy only had so much patience. His cock was throbbing and all he wanted at the moment was to pound inside Dean and seek his release. Soon a second finger was added and not much later, Dean had three fingers fucking him.

"Cas…" Dean panted. There were about a million things in Dean's mind and they were all about how hot the situation was; Cas in control, fingering Dean with one hand while his other hand stroked their dicks… Dean was losing control.

"Don't you dare cum yet, Dean!" Castiel commanded.

Dean whined at Cas' words but did as he was told; he gave his best to hold back the sweet feeling that told him he was five seconds away from cumming all over himself and Cas.

"Good boy." Castiel praised. And just like that, he took his fingers from Dean's ass, placed a condom on himself and coated his dick with lube.

Without saying a word, he pushed himself inside Dean, leaving the human breathless and giving his best not cum with that.

Castiel liked to be in command, but he also loved when Dean enjoyed their sexual endeavors, so he stayed put for a while letting Dean adjust to his size.

"Geez Dean… You're so tight! I know we haven't had sex in a while, but you're so tight." Cas said, his voice sounding rough from both pleasure and struggle to make Dean feel as good as he could.

Dean had no idea what to say, it was easier to calm himself down since Castiel stopped stroking his dick. His ass hurt a bit, Castiel had a point on saying it had been a while, he didn't complain against Castiel's movements because he knew soon enough Cas would make him feel much better.

Dean let a whole minute pass before started moving his hips towards Cas'.

"Are you ready?" Castiel asked, a bit of concern sounding in his husky voice.

"Y-Yes." Dean said, continuing to move his hips since Castiel wasn't doing anything with his.

As Dean's answer came, Castiel took control. Both his hands grabbed Dean's hips to keep him in place and he started pounding into Dean, slow and steady. His lips smooched every bit of skin they could find, leaving a trail of saliva to show the places he had been; he ravished Dean from his face to as low in his chest as his body let him while his hips continued attached to Dean's.

"Are you enjoying yourself Dean?" Castiel asked, realizing how quiet and still Dean had become.

Dean's eyes were closed and his mouth was ajar. Dean nodded.

"Did I hurt you?" Cas asked, a bit confused.

Dean shook his head.

"Do you want me to stop? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Stop talking. Keep fucking me." Dean whispered through clenched teeth. "I'm trying not to cum, you dumbass."

Castiel laughed.

"Alright… Sorry if I asked." And just like that, Cas kept moving his hips.

In, out, in, out, in, roll hips, out, in, roll hips while going out.

Cas kept their hips meeting at a steady pace, being that the only thing that wasn't steady was the roll of their hips that either came when Dean couldn't hold back or when Castiel wanted to tease Dean to watch him come apart.

Dean's breathing pattern was getting more and more raggedy as Cas kept easing his way in and out of Dean. Cas kept on smooching and licking Dean, and Dean managed to pull himself together and lick Cas' throat.

"Damn…" Cas cursed. "That mouth of yours is a wonderrr." Cas purred as Dean started sucking a bruise on one side of Cas' neck.

It didn't take much longer to get Cas as breathless as Dean. Castiel took Dean's cock in his hands and started stroking as fast as his hips were moving, his hold tightening every few strokes.

"You want to cum Dean?" The angel asked, kissing Dean's lips.

Dean made an incoherent sound.

"I won't let you cum if you don't ask for it."

"Y-Yes! Fuck yes! P-P-Please" Dean plead his hips were moving on their own accord, trying to keep in contact with both Cas' hand and cock.

Cas let himself sink in Dean three more times before licking Dean's earlobe and whispering, "Do it. Cum for me."

Those words were the ones that made Dean lose control. Even if he wanted to hold back he couldn't. There was so much sex in Cas' voice that it was impossible to deny his order.

Dean came with a loud shout of Castiel's name. His mind was completely blown and his orgasm turned everything around him white. His body was left trembling in pleasure; it took him about three minutes to get his sight back.

Soon Castiel followed, as all the while Dean was cumming, his ass clenched around Cas' cock throwing him off the edge.

Their way through their orgasms was spent with both of them clinging to the other in a way that seemed desperate, as if they didn't get to touch the other enough. In Dean's case it was actually true; after all, that was his first time acknowledging he liked Cas and that he was willing to sleep with Cas –even if it was all in his head.

"We better clean everything up before Sam comes back with Kevin and Mary." Cas said after twenty minutes of just lying in each other's arms.

Yet again, Dean craved to know more about the realm he was in. The first time, his mother was alive but his dad wasn't. In this world, Kevin was alive, and so was his mother?

"Oh really?"

Cas gasped.

"You forgot your daughter's birthday?"

That took Dean aback. He assumed Mary was his mother, but it turned out he had a daughter.

"No…" Dean lied. "It's just… I wasn't expecting them so soon."

"Well, we did devote quite some time to fool around." Cas paused, kissing Dean's neck. "And you did fall asleep."

"Sorry."

"It's ok babe, that last hunt worn us all out." Castiel said, his lips joining Dean's temple.

The front door was heard and they heard Sam's voice.

"Hey guys! We're home!"

Quickly, Castiel closed and locked the door with his powers and grabbed Dean's hand to lead him to their bathroom.

"We need to clean you up…" Cas said with a wink.

Time flew by and when Dean noticed, he was singing happy birthday to a black haired five year old that looked like a mix between himself and Castiel. The little girl had green eyes and freckles all over her face, but her smile was so alike Castiel's that led Dean to the conclusion that in this realm, it was possible for two men to have children together. Despite the peculiar detail that it was, Dean felt happy. That little girl was his little girl and she looked so much like both of them.

"Daddy!" Mary called, pulling his pants with her tiny hands. Her face was smiling wide and Dean smiled back at her. "I love you!"

Mary was squealing with joy. Castiel had a camera in his hands and was capturing almost every moment; from the moment Mary saw her cake, until she was ready to go to sleep.

Dean squatted next to her and pulled her into a hug. It was easier to not say those words. He knew he would eventually leave that world, but he couldn't leave his little girl waiting.

"I love you too sweetheart." He murmured to her hear. Her face fell against Dean's shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

Dean had plans to leave this reality as soon as he spent just a little bit of time there. He knew he had to get back… Bu-But things were so perfect in this world… He and Cas were together, Sammy was living with them, and they had a little girl. Not to mention that Kevin was still alive, going to school and doing something for himself.

Later, Dean found out that Bobby, Ellen and Jo were alive too and joined them for dinner every once in a while. His mother though, wasn't; but Dean had accepted her death so long ago that he knew it was for the better. Things could have gone so different had she been alive, but that would mean he wouldn't have met Cas; and he didn't want that. He loved Cas, now he knew that.

Leaving this realm proved to be one of the hardest things Dean had ever had to do. Leaving would mean he would never see the precious look on Mary's face when Dean tickled her, or how happy she looked when Dean gave her chocolate behind Cas' back…

He didn't want to leave…

In the end, he didn't have a choice.

Sam managed to track him down and kill the Djinn; and with that he woke Dean up.

"Dean…" Sam's voice sounded so worried. "Dean wake up!"

Dean blinked his eyes open. The memory of Mary's face was still in his mind.

What made everything worse was that Dean knew he wouldn't have left the other reality; he would have stayed behind for Cas and Mary. He would still be happy and his little girl would be by his side.

Dean felt like crying, but his brother was by his side. Sam wouldn't understand; of course he wouldn't. Sam would joke and make fun of him… Sam would think he was just a screwed up queer.

"'m fine Sammy." Dean slurred, his words mixing around each other. The sadness in his heart was making him dizzy. He felt sick; like he abandoned Cas and Mary… And now there was no way to get back.

As time passed, Dean made himself live his life. As usual, Cas' presence was scarce. He would come around when they called him, and he would leave them every time.

Dean and Sam were on a case, there was a werewolf on the loose and they were trying to get him. They found his ex-girlfriend, she was crying that he didn't even say goodbye when he left… Those words seemed to strike Dean up, making him remember what he left behind.

_Adios… Always the adios…_

And the thing that hurt worse was that he didn't even get to say _adios_, Sam just killed the Djinn and he was gone.

"What's the hell's wrong with you, Dean?" Sam asked, as soon as they got to their motel room.

Dean didn't answer.

"You're so strange! Ever since the Djinn case you haven't been yourself! You need to pull yourself together!" Getting told off wasn't helping… Dean felt as if he did something wrong; like he was the one to blame. "What the hell happened with the Djinn anyway? Was it like the first time?"

The oldest Winchester didn't want to say anything, but Sam was almost yelling.

"No." He managed to whisper, his voice hoarse. "It was different than last time."

Sam was pleased Dean answered.

"How different? Minor details? Everything?" Of course Sam only wanted to know because of research.

"Everything… I guess I changed ever since that last time." Dean stopped himself. This was a path he didn't want to cross…

"So… How was it?" Sam kept pushing him, making him face his demons.

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean replied.

"Come on! It can't be that bad!" Sam teased.

Dean rolled his eyes; he so didn't want to be having this talk… He wanted to be back to the world he had been taken from. He wanted his sweet little girl around his arms again. Tears started showing from the corners of his eyes and he avoided looking at Sam. Dean turned around and cleaned his eyes with his hand.

"It wasn't bad." He managed to say. "And that's the problem… It was perfect."

"Are you gunna explain further…? Or should I keep asking?"

Damn it, Sam! Just stop it!

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean repeated. He looked around the room and walked into the bathroom. As soon as he was inside the room, he locked the door and his arms fell on the sink. He couldn't take it… He missed Cas, not just the one from the other realm, but his Cas. And Sam was making him remember that the last time he saw Cas was over a month ago… Because the last they saw each other, Castiel smiled and it pained him to think it was over a month ago he last saw that smile.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Go away Sam!" Dean said. He didn't want to hear Sam asking him questions about his dream life.

"Dean." Castiel's voice sounded loud and clear from the other side of the door.

"Cas." His voice was only a bit above a whisper, all his doubts and fear showed in his voice.

"I'm gunna go inside."

"Okay."

Dean wasn't able to say anything else; he just wanted to see Cas in front of him. Even if they weren't together, he wanted to see Castiel squint his eyes and tilt his head, he wanted to see Castiel smile… Because that smiles was the thing that kept him alive right now.

Cas didn't open the door; he simply materialized inside the room.

"Dean." He said once more.

All Dean's emotions crossed his face; Castiel looked concerned. Seeing such a human motion in Castiel reminded made his heart beat faster. As if Castiel wasn't such a different creature from himself; like it was possible for him to love Dean back.

This time, Dean kept silent; he had nothing to say that wouldn't give his wishes away. Better safe than sorry, right?

"Are you alright?" The Angel asked, concern transpiring in both his voice and facial features.

Dean managed to nod, but didn't dare look Cas in the eyes; those bright blue eyes would most likely make him more depressed than he already was.

"You don't look alright. You look all but alright. What happened?" When Dean didn't answer, Castiel took a step further; his chest was only a palm away from Dean's.

Dean's breath hitched with the heat Cas was sending towards his body. There was nothing he wanted more than to take that last step and bury his face in Cas' neck, but he wouldn't. There was no way an Angel would ever fall in love with a human… Especially if he was said human.

"Is there anything I can do to help you? You look like you're in pain…" Cas mumbled trying to understand what was wrong with Dean Winchester.

_You could hug me._ Dean thought bitterly. Nonetheless, he shook his head.

"Are you sure, Dean?" _No._

"Cas."

The sound of Dean's voice made Castiel even more wary. Dean sounded sad, broken even. The Seraph hated hearing such a sound coming from him.

"Tell me what's wrong Dean." He demanded. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

The human tried to calm himself down, to take deep breaths, but that only lead to inhaling more of what his brain had registered as Cas. It left him needy for those arms to hug him and that mouth to kiss him.

"If you don't tell me, I'll be forced to read your mind…" Castiel hated doing that, but if there was nothing else he could do, there would be no hesitation.

"No!" Dean breathed out, his face showing his uneasiness. "Don't do that."

Castiel nodded. "Alright. But please let me help you."

"I can't."

As Uriel had long said, he was Castiel's weakness, and it took him a Djinn to realize that his weakness wasn't solely his brother. It was also Castiel. Having him know how much he needed him, it would make Castiel's situation even worse. He didn't want that for Castiel.

"Okay. Sam said you started acting like this after the Djinn case you had. What was your wish?" If he ever lost his position as an Angel of the Lord, Cas could get himself a job as a therapist. He knew exactly what points to press, what was his problem without even knowing what exactly was wrong with him.

Dean forced himself to smile. He wanted Cas to stop.

"Wouldn't you want to know…?"

"Dean." Cas' voice was hard, trying to get through. It sounded almost like a warning.

"Alright…" Dean sighed. "I had a perfect life with someone, we had a kid… Man she looked gorgeous… And Kevin was alive… And Sammy was there…" Dean had to stop, to restrain himself from saying something that he would regret.

Castiel took it as a sign that he wasn't part of Dean's perfect life.

"Oh… I see..." He said, his voice only a tad above a whisper.

Dean noted almost instantly his mistake, Castiel sounded hurt, and the way his face turned made him cringe.

"Cas, you should have seen Mary…" Dean opted to change the course of the conversation. "She was the most beautiful little girl out there."

Pride was glowing in Dean's voice, but there was also pain; the kind of pain that let Castiel understand just how much he missed the other realm.

"I bet she was."

Dean smiled lightly, thinking about the little girl he left behind.

"She didn't even look that much like me... She looked more like you" As soon as he finished speaking, he understood his mistake. He didn't mean to tell Castiel his perfect life was with him, but man! Dean was so proud of that little girl. The girl who looked like both himself and Castiel.

Cas seemed to come back to life as soon as Dean's words sank in.

"…You mean…" Castiel found his voice sounding hoarse. "You mean I was Mary's father?"

Dean didn't want to go through that path, but hell! He was already there! Why not just keep going?

"We both were." Dean said, his voice sounding afraid of Cas' reaction. He was afraid Castiel would lash out of simply vanish into thin air.

Castiel looked at Dean, then to the floor… His mind was processing the meaning behind Dean's words. When he finally was sure he had understood, he looked Dean dead in the eyes.

"Your perfect life was with me?" He asked.

Dean couldn't find his voice again, so he simply nodded.

"You mean that your greatest desire is to be with me?"

Another nod of Dean's head confirmed it.

Castiel was silent for a few minutes. When Dean thought Castiel was simply going to vanish, he spoke again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Castiel sounded, hurt and confused. "Do you know how hard it is to see you sleep around with every girl you see? Do you know how much it hurts when you're not with me?"

Dean chuckled.

"I have an idea…"

"No, you don't." Castiel denied. "If you knew you would have told me. You know I never go after girls or guys or whatever… You know I had no interest in anyone… The only two people I care about are you and your brother, Dean. And you know we share something deeper than I do with Sam… I thought you knew about these feelings!"

Dean had no idea… He had always been blind when it came to love.

"I didn't know you felt that way." After a few moments of silence, he spoke again. "I'm sorry, Cas."

And just like that, he broke down, tears started falling from his eyes and all he wanted was to seek comfort in Cas' arms.

Castiel held him close, one hand soothing his back, while the other traced patterns in the back of Dean's neck.

"It's alright. We're good now." Dean breathed in Cas' sent, his body wanting to stay as close as he could.

"I need you Cas… You can't just leave like you always do…" Dean said, his voice trembling.

"I promise I won't Dean."


End file.
